People break into two groups. When people in group one hear the name Tarzan they think of the stories by Edgar Rice Burroughs, that strapping lad Johnny Weissmuller who played Tarzan in the movies, and that strange yodel. People in group number two think of Bo Derek‘s boobs. In fact, for group two even a minor element of the stories - cannibalism, how to build a treehouse, English nobility - can evoke images of Bo and her firm ta-tas writhing … Continue reading
In a shocking letter received by the newsroom at thechildishman.com on Wednesday, the National Rifle Association’s (NRA) CEO and Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre announced he was stepping down from his post, effective immediately. “I’ve been with the NRA a long time,” he wrote. “But, well, this is just too damn easy. I mean, we … Continue reading
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) - You will wake up with the phrase “mature self-expression” on your lips. And by the end of a day playing hookie from work, you will have finished your masterpiece…a 15-foot high snow erection on your front lawn. Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) – A sudden and extreme hunger this week will cause you … Continue reading
A week before our trip to Mexico, my wife became inspired by a co-worker’s recommendation to visit some Mayan ruins. ”But I don’t want to just stand there and look at them,” she said. “I want to walk up the steps to the temple!” Having walked up and down stairs my whole life, I didn’t quite see the attraction. I could even, from my own recliner, imagine … Continue reading
I had a great conversation last night with a few neighbors. (What a great hook for a blessay! That’s a blog essay, not to be confused with a bletaphor, blumor, or blotographs, which will come later. But wait, there’s more!) And so now I’m going to tell you about this conversation whether you like it or not. (Always … Continue reading
Within a few minutes of drinking my first cup of coffee this morning, I was busy drafting out a vision, or rather a lingering memory, of last night’s pee dream. You know, the realistic and worrisome, but partially waking, thoughts you get when your bladder is full and it’s telling you to get up before it demonstrates to you and your wife how much closer you are in life to … Continue reading
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An offbeat worldview of an offbeat world
I'm a big kid now. Yea!
I'm a big kid now. Yea!
